Different

This has been a different month. I have had the experience of going through feelings that I did not even know existed. I have realized that there is more to the saying 'putting oneself in someone else's shoes'. It is not easy to even begin imagining what it is like for somebody else going through a particular situation, unless you go through it yourself. One takes so many things for granted and does not realize the importance of things till they are no longer there. Even if one does realize the importance of things, it is not easy to fathom what it is like when that something parts with you for good.

I wonder if I can sound more complicated than that. Those are the kind of thoughts going through my head these days. I am missing a part of my life that was always there for me. I am fully aware that what happened was for the best, and a lot of pain and suffering was avoided. However, why do I still feel so helpless, so lonely, so unable to comprehend a lot of things!

A few friends have used some very nice words that I think will stay with me the longest. Things that were taught to me and those that I carry forward will be the legacy of the person who taught me those concepts. A person lives on and around the people s/he loved in the little ways they carry forward the legacy of that person. Striving to do that should be my goal from now on.

My mom......

A different woman........ not mediocre by any standards, is how I would describe my mother. Here are a few stories about her that made her the special person she was.

She had some definite ideas about what values we should have as we were growing up. She wanted us to develop the reading habit, and she wanted us to develop hobbies. My dad saw to it that there was never any dearth of reading material in the house. He set an example by doing tons of do-it-yourself projects around the house. Music was a big passion with her, and she taught us many age appropriate songs, that won us many accolades at school. Perfectionism was her virtue, and she would tell us to keep practicing softly till we ourselves were satisfied with the sound we produced. Classical music played in the background a lot, she believed that was how one developed a ear for music.

She was not for kids who spent all their vacation time playing outside. We were allowed to go out in the summer breaks in the mornings, but not more than maybe twice a week. In the evenings, the time was set, we could not go out to play before 5 pm and we had to be home as soon as the lights came on in people's homes, which was generally 7 pm. Sometimes, when we had ghost story telling sessions and all the moms were chatting on the terrace, this rule was lax. One summer, I was not ready to wait until 5 pm. I just had to go out. All moms in our area were pretty much like her when it came to timings, so not too many people would be around early. I still wanted to go out. I made sure she was engrossed in the magazine she was reading (an avid reader she was!), and quickly moved the big hand of the clock 15 minutes ahead. We had just one big clock in the house back then. It was not a such a headache as it would have been had my son decided to do it today,........ he would have had to change clocks all over the house, three just in the kitchen. Thank God things were easy back then. Then I hung around to make sure no one noticed, and turned the big hand another 15 minutes faster, so now I was one half hour ahead of time. Our clock used to generally be ahead by about 10 minutes, which all of us knew about and still it was supposed to give us those precious 10 minutes extra every rushed morning. Radio Ceylon would be on and she would shout... Saigal has started singing, and you are still not in the shower!!!!!  For those of you who are not familiar with Radio Ceylon's  7:30 - 8:00 am program, it used to always end with a K.L. Saigal song. Our clock would show the time as 8:05 though.
Anyways, going back to my forwarding the clock story, I soon told her it was 5 pm and happily walked out. TV was nowhere on the horizon and so there was no other means of getting to know the time. I did this for two days and then got caught. Funny, but I don't exactly remember how this episode ended. One thing I am sure of, I was not spanked for it!

There was another time when there was some leftover gajar ka halwa in the refrigerator. I could not let it rest there. In the afternoon, when she would nap or read, I sneaked in the kitchen and one teaspoon at a time, I managed to finish the whole bowl. Then I covered the bowl and kept it back right where it was. However, I could not rest till she knew what I had done. So I went over and asked her to give me some halwa for a snack. She said she would, but later. I kept pestering, so finally she obliged and saw what had happened. She would tell the story till today about how her daughter could not let a wrong go unnoticed. That was something that puzzled me, when I was sure I was going to get a earful for something I had done, I would hear nothing at all, and unexpectedly, it would come.... and a good measure of it!

Once a political party worker ( a known friend) came over and told her to give Re 1 and register her name for the party. She told mom that all the neighborhood ladies had joined, and Re. 1 was a very small amount. Mom said she did not want to join any party but wanted to be outside of it to make sure she could vote for the party that worked the best. Being part of a political party was not her idea of support. She said I could give you Rs.10, but her name was not to be registered under the party. The lady was a little mad, she kept telling her that everybody had done it and it was not a big deal. Mom said it was a big deal for her. I was little at the time, and wondered why she did not do what every other lady in the neighborhood had done. On asking her about it, she said, Why should anyone do what is against their principles? In my opinion, one should not join a party just so it can boast that it's ladies wing has thousands of members, most of whom have done it just because a friend asked them to join." That was when I realized, she had an opinion, and the courage of conviction to stand by it.

What subtle lessons one learns by just being in the company of parents!

Restless....

Written on November 1, 2009............

When one feels a little low, what does one do? A good friend of mine urged me to write. I took him up on it and decided to have a go at it. Sometimes, things work out in ways that you cannot explain. One cannot even put in words what exactly one is going through. One may put a brave face and act normal, but appearances are deceptive and an unexplainable kind of feeling is left behind. There is some guilt, some helplessness, some anger, and even some remorse.

Anyways, so I chose to write to get away from those feelings. Ever since I read the Amar Chitra Katha,  I wondered what Gautam Budhha gained under that tree that made him so peaceful. I guess when you understand that, all these feelings that I talked about earlier go away. It is like that chapter in the Bhagwad Geeta I had read and understood a while ago. It talked about attachment and desires and actions and a very common sense chain of processes that can make one feel sad or at peace, depending on what choices you make. For a mortal human being, making the right choices is often a very challenging task.

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Completed on November 6, 2009

I felt like that all day that day.... it only got worse at night.... and then the dreaded call came at around midnight.... my mother had passed away............ It is so astonishing to realize that intuition is indeed a reality, which one does not believe in, until one actually experiences it.

May her soul rest in peace and may we get the strength to bear the sorrow of her loss.

Pumpkin Season!

This is my favorite season of all! I love the color palette for this time of the year. The olive greens, the oranges, the deep reds, the deep purples, the beige, the browns... all lovely shades that bring out their best when put together. Earthy tones, as they call them. When I was a little girl, and we would go shopping for dress material, I would invariably choose a brown or some shade of it, much to my mom's dismay. She would not understand why I would always be attracted to a dull color like that. To me, it wasn't dull, I thought the different shades of brown were fabulous, and I would not even look at a pink if I were given a choice. That was then, much hasn't changed, the color palette I go for is still earthy. 


When I was new to this culture, I used to enjoy seeing the lovely displays put up everywhere we went, during this season. I began looking at having a small collection for myself to make little displays of my own when harvest season was here. Slowly, over the years, things started to add up.

I have bought fresh pumpkins... but have never managed to carve them into jack-o-lanterns. It is an art, I am told. I should try it sometime. I always remember Linus (in the peanuts comic strips) saying his famous line......... I didn't know you were gonna.............. :-)........ watch it here.. Please watch it till the end. There is only one line in this 1.30 min clip. :-)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTAd0g2QGHg

Stray Incident

I was beginning to think that hummingbird policy had not changed after all. That stray incident a few days ago was probably a teenage bird who acted up and did exactly the opposite of what his parents wanted him to do. Us humans are not the only ones facing that problem, I felt assured to know.

Then I was walking around the backyard, camera in hand and felt a dance above my head. The disobedient teenager was right there, and he was on the bottlebrush! I was also right there, and the camera was in my hand! Could it get any better than that? I looked up, pointed the camera in the general direction of where he was last and took a shot. Only time would tell what I got, because he chose to dash off and suddenly be very obedient.



He was caught and had to go to his time out chair for a while. That is where I saw him sitting for a really long time. His parents meant business when he was grounded. He just sat there for a good 15 minutes, rather pensively, I would say.


I wish my son would take my- "You are grounded!" orders so seriously!

Ok people, no more hummingbird talk all the way upto March now, they are gone for the season, well almost! The backyard is a busy place though............

Being by yourself for a while..........

Do you ever get a feeling when you want to be all by yourself for a while? Don't get me wrong. I totally love being amidst people. I have the gift of the gab, and can chat with folks for the longest time. There have been instances when I have had to hang up the phone with friends because both the handsets have lost battery charge. To make sure that does not happen, the new phone I get should have at least 3 handsets... ha! Well, getting back to what I was saying, I like being on my own sometimes.

When I wake up in the morning, I like to be really quiet and am not the kind of person who starts chatting right away. I need a good hour to get to that point. I will say the most necessary things, like.. have your breakfast, take a shower or something very quintessential like that, and may have a comment on the weather, esp. if it is cold. I have gotten to this point after my son was born, and used to be very silent for that hour before he came along. Those who know me, know that that time of the day is not the greatest to ask me for an opinion or to tell me a long story about something esp. someone! I generally give them a look that says... can this wait?? It is not like I sit and meditate at this time, I am up and about and taking care of all kinds of chores, but I do it silently! I do not even listen to music at this time, though a soft, classical piece would be sort of welcome after the first QUIET half hour!

When I visit India, esp. my folks, my mom grumbles about this habit of mine, "you got to change with the times", she says, "you visit for 3-4 weeks, and will keep that hour for yourself"? That's one good hour before the maids begin to arrive and take control of the house. I agree, I have so lost touch with maids coming in everyday, it gets uncomfortable to see them all over the place, with little privacy for one self. (They spoil me rotten by the time I get to the end of my stay, I must admit.) However, mom does have a point, and I feel bad I cannot change my ways.

I cannot live by myself and absolutely NEED family and friends to get by through the day, they are an integral part of my system and their importance can probably be emphasized in another separate piece of writing. However, this piece is about being by oneself. :)

In the afternoons, I am generally by myself. If I am not talking to some friend, which I usually am, I am in my own little world, doing mundane chores side by side. This time can be best utilized to reminisce, about something nice and pleasant.

Just before falling asleep is another such time when you are trying to wind down and fall asleep. There are a lot of lucky people in this world who fall asleep as soon as their back touches the bed. I am envious of those people, I take at least about 20 minutes before I am in dreamland. I have realized that the best ideas and inspirations come to me at this time, only to be forgotten the next morning. I think of the nicest lines to write, the nicest clues to give on our orkut games, the nicest designs for art projects, and the nicest things to do. I have decided to keep a little writing pad on the night stand so I can scribble down the best stuff I can think of, and though this little solution has been in my mind for ever now, it never gets materialized. Again, it is one of those brilliant ideas I get at that time of the night, only to be forgotten in the hustle and bustle of the next morning. As I write this, I am on my way to the nightstand with a pen and notepad. Something good coming out of reminiscing and writing!

Back to the topic of being by oneself,  the caravan of memories is always with you even when you are by yourself. One can rejuvenate in these brief periods of solitude and savor the times that have been enjoyable.

This and That...

There was a report a few days ago that social networking sites are doing better than never before. Millions more have joined this past year, it said, and that people tend to spend a lot of time online connecting with people. I would have dismissed the report like I dismiss many others. However, I am one of those people who have signed up on a couple of those sites, and I must admit, I am having a whale of a time.

These networking sites give you an amazing opportunity to get to know people. One mostly has accounts on these sites where one can catch up with classmates, colleagues, and long lost cousins and friends. There are also other groups where you don't really know anybody and you get to know them as you start visiting frequently. In time, you kind of forget that these are virtual friends. Just like everywhere else, you meet all kinds of people. Some very fake and some so genuine, it makes you believe that good people still exist.

I got on one such site purely by accident. I happened to see a community on a friend's page and visited the community profile. I joined it, and slowly, I got a feel of things, and soon I was like a fish to water. That was because the communities, a nice network of them, were related to music. I have always been a fan of music, and have never quite found people who shared the same interest, since I got out of school. I know people who love music, but never had found those who could tell what song it was by listening to the prelude or interlude music. If I had a query about a certain movie or a certain situation, people would look at me as if I were nuts. Lyrics could not be found till you got your hands on the tape/ CD of the song and sometimes, a particularly vague song never became clear for months and years.

Suddenly, all that had changed. As I found dozens of people 'playing' in these communities, I also found dozens of long lost beloved songs. They had just been left behind somewhere, and here they were, catching up with you. Google of course, had a large part to play in getting songs, but that it could be done was evident after joining here. In a few weeks, I had made some friends. I suddenly had lots to do, and I have had some of the most enjoyable times that were so entertaining, it was almost impossible to believe that all I was actually doing was sitting in front of a computer, all by myself. It was so exciting meeting people and finding that so many people were as crazy as I was about music, and they did not think I was nuts... because they were nuts too! :)

It was here that I found out how music collections can be stored, categorized, and enjoyed without burning them on CDs, which were a rage until not very long ago. It was here I got songs that I had considered permanently lost to time. It was also here that I realized that there were tons of people who were much more knowledgeable than I can ever dream of being. That knowledge that is so easily shared here and knows no end.

The report had a skeptical side, when they reported that people are so lost in the virtual world, they do not take care of the real world around them. I feel lucky to have some very genuine 'real' friends and some equally genuine 'virtual' friends as well. I am so glad I found this little world.

Yay! Gotcha...........

Hummingbirds had a policy last season (those of you who read Backyardigans previously in this blog- will remember).... Photography was strictly prohibited! Well, I think there was major disapproval of that policy and the feedback was taken into consideration. There was a change this season.

I stepped into the backyard this morning to try out a new camera. It was early in the morning. The sun had just risen. I was trying to find a good subject to capture. Suddenly I saw something small fly past... a cute dragonfly. Ha... fooled me... I mused! Another quick dart on my left and there he was... this cute guy (or gal.. I honestly don't know how to tell!).... a greenish hummingbird, flitting on the roses.

Roses?????? Really??? Guys...... I have your favorite bottle brushes planted just for you. What are you doing on my roses? I went click happy... steady shot... smile recognition... and all the fancy settings on the camera went haywire. In the next instant though, he was gone. I got inside and downloaded the pictures. I could not tell if I had managed to get him or not. Zooming in on one picture revealed... YESSSSSSSS! There he was... he was actually feeding on the yellow rose. It is amazing to see these little birds, they are not larger than your index finger, and their wings flap non-stop as they feed. It is a challenge for a photography enthusiast like me to get a decent shot of them.

Click on the picture to enlarge it... I managed to get him alright!

I have never seen these guys feed on the roses before, the bottlebrushes are their favorite joint. Hey... but do you always eat Chinese? You went Italian last week, and Mediterranean the week before. Why am I surprised if this little fella wanted a different kind of fare for a change?
I wish I had that awesome zoom lens, I would have got a much better picture, but who am I kidding? The guys who get those truly awesome shots are the ones who sit patiently even in the HOT Texas sun, waiting for their subject to make an appearance. I would think of a thousand better things to do right at that moment. So, here I am basking in the glory today! Yay for me!

My next goal is to catch them feeding on the bottle brush. They are blooming again, just in time for the little things that make their appearance in late August through September. Wish me luck, people!

A terrific experience

Over four years ago, on a visit to India, elders in her house expressed a keen desire to carry out a traditional ceremony for her son, their grandson. It was a daunting task, given the circumstances, esp. the autism situation involved and the duration of these kind of ceremonies.

At the time of course, it was understood that the ceremony would be held in India. That was even more daunting, esp. at that time, because social awareness was really low when it comes to certain conditions. She just managed to put it aside at the time. It always remained at the back of her mind though. Every now and then since then, the topic would come up, and it would be discussed and she would side track it. Then came a time when it could no longer be avoided, and they decided that it was time to face it and find a solution rather than just sweep it under the rug one more time.

She thought about it and decided it would be better if the ceremony was held at a venue which was familiar to her son. She decided that she would try and put him through the least bit of discomfort. She looked for options and realized that things were slowly falling into place like pieces of a puzzle. What needed to be done was coordinate everything to make it go like a well oiled machine. That required meticulous planning, but that is the part she always enjoyed. The main task was to explain to the elders that it was necessary to hold the ceremony in the town the boy lived, so he was familiar with the surroundings and the people who would attend. Once that was taken care of, the rest was alright. The family in India were totally supportive of this decision, it was after all, the boy's ceremony and his comfort was top priority.

She started teaching him some chants that are recited during the ceremony, and in spite of the language issue because of autism, the boy managed to learn the chants well. She started planning on the venue, the menu and the rest of the details. Close friends were excited. It is not always that a ceremony of this type was held in this town, away from family. They promised to be there and help in any way possible. Invitation cards were printed, she had bought the paper specially from India. She had bought clothes for everyone, and also gifts for all the friends. As the day neared, excitement built up.

The priest had been briefed about the boy's autism and his unpredictable ability to sit through a ceremony. He assured her he would take care of it.

She looked at her son fondly. His clothes were tailor made for him and sent by a special courier from India. Her husband was also going to be dressed traditionally. Her sister arrived with her family from out of town. She prayed that the event would go well.

On the big day, everyone woke up early, showered and got dressed. The boy wanted his ipod. She tried to reason with him. That was when the tantrum began. She was in tears, and thought of the saying 'the morning shows the day'. She tried reasoning with her son, but he just kept getting louder and more annoyed.

That was when she just stood at the altar and prayed........ she had now placed everything is His hands and asked that He take care of everything from that moment on. They left for the temple.

From that point onwards, everything was like a surreal dream. The boy was at his patient best. He sat through the ceremony that took about three and a half hours. He did everything he was told, he chanted everything he was supposed to chant. The priest accommodated all of the boy's needs and handled the whole ceremony very well. The guests arrived in all their finery and joined in the festivity. The whole event just floated by in time. And just like that, it was all done.

The scene then moved to the venue of the reception. Everybody got there and wished the boy and had a hearty vegetarian lunch. The traditional food was very good and people enjoyed the fare. Pictures were taken and everyone had a great time. Friends and family did not make one feel that this event was done on foreign soil. It was a wonderful experience.

Most of all, the prayer which she had said early that morning, leaving everything in His hands, was answered. He took care of his flock, as he always does. That was the most beautiful experience.

Music and Memories

Music can have this amazing effect on you. You can remember exactly what period in your life you heard a particular song. When you hear that song again today, you kind of travel back in time and revisit that period. There are some songs that make you feel so nostalgic, they can move you to the core and bring tears to your eyes, some others can make you laugh, still others just make you feel good all over.

There is a song in Marathi... mogra phulala....it used to be on one of the tapes we had when I was maybe in first grade। To this day, when that song plays, I feel I am sitting in a cool room on a hot summer day, curtains pulled, everything very peaceful and content, one of the best times of my life. My mom was trying her hand at recording songs from the radio on our brand new tape recorder that my dad had picked up from Germany. Tapes were kind of a precious commodity then. Lots of songs were packed on these tapes, not necessarily categorized according to genre. It is amusing to think of the sequence of songs.Some other favorites that were on the tapes my mom recorded were hindi songs like yeh parbaton ke daayre, and raat suhani jaag rahi hai, soft, slow numbers that are lilting and calming. These songs take me back to quiet after dinner times, late in the evening, relaxing on the couch. TV was nowhere on the horizon then, radio was the king.

A rather surprising partner to these songs, are songs from a prerecorded tape, one of James Last's finest, called Hair. All jazz instrumentals, I loved the compositions and can sing along when it plays even today. One kind soul has the whole album up on his blog. Thank God for such kind souls! As I looked up the history of the HAIR musical, I am glad I did not what it was about back then. I like the music, but do not care much for the hippie movement. Ignorance sure is bliss sometimes.

Sunday afternoons used to feature English songs. Yesterday once more, a song by the Carpenters was my favorite. Again, a very soothing song. Oh for nostalgia!
In later years at school, we truly believed that listening to new songs alone was 'the' thing to do. Mom would keep reminding us that developing a ear for melody was listening to different kinds of music. She would listen to Radio Ceylon a lot. Classical music was played often. I would not be too happy about that, but mom firmly believed that that was how you developed a ear for good music. I sort of agree with that today. Dad kept bringing great Western music, from Mozart's symphonies to Country to the Beatles, we had it all.

A partner for the tape recorder was a small record player. We had a bunch of 78 rpm records. Then 33 and 45 rpms joined them. We had good music, almost all of which is considered among the 'timeless hits' today.

All these songs build our memories. Little did I know of it then. I keep telling myself that we need to choose what we do today, and how we spend our time, as these will be memories of tomorrow. Something we will feel nostalgic about, hopefully.

Spring is on its way out!

A better way to put it would be - Summer is already here! We felt the heat in mid May and then a cool front moved in. Thank God for small mercies. The roses went into another budding and flowering cycle. The yard looked nice for a little while longer. The next three months will be HOT, no doubt. If the thunder showers keep rolling in every now and then, things will be bearable, if not, we are in for a bad one. I would love to keep the hurricanes out this year. We had more than our share last year, and I would like a nice quiet summer.

On a recent trip to India, I have already experienced summer for three weeks. It was so HOT, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk, and while you tried to do that, you could sweat a bucketful. It would be a good bucket to water the plants. Urghhh, I am getting nasty, blame it on the NASA reports where they said that the astronauts recycled even their own urine. Those guys are awesome, what a feat! Rejuvenating a 19 year old telescope and being successful at it, is nothing short of spectacular. Five spacewalks, in a place where space debris is supposedly common these days, dealing with sometimes hard to loosen bolts, replacing gyroscopes that were as large as pianos, they managed to get the thing going for at least another five to ten years. Hats off to you guys!

What I am in total awe of is the fact that people (the number will go up to 6 soon, from the present three) live up there in space aboard the International Space Station (ISS). I am particularly impressed given the poor state I am in even after a 9-12 hour flight. These guys live there, and it is not very big. Great going guys!

What an accomplishment for Man this whole venture has been. Space Exploration is simply awesome. What is amazing is that in spite of all we have achieved, NATURE is still so in control. Atlantis could not land in Florida because of all the rain, it had to land in California and NASA will have to spend $ 2 million to bring it back to Florida on piggyback a 747 jetliner. Hurricanes will continue to torment coastal regions and wreck havoc in those areas. Earthquakes will happen, and so will floods and droughts. I wonder when we can find a sure shot cure for these calamities.

Till then, I prefer to salute the people who got us this far, with the hope that they will take us further down the path of wonderful exploration, keeping in mind and respecting the laws of nature.

Whoa, it's been a while!

It's almost spring, after a terrible winter. Terrible not because it was very cold, but because it kept going from cold to warm and then back to cold, with each extreme staying on for not more than two days each. I had put a jacket in the car and had decided not to get it out, one never knew when it would be cold, and when it would get warm again. The weather guys did their best, but then how do you predict exactly what time a cold front will move through your area and drop temperatures 20 degrees in 30 minutes?

Well, I am glad that it almost over, though we are not completely out of the woods yet. The spring flowers are blooming and complaints of allergies are everywhere. We have this inherent tendency to complain, too cold, too warm, allergies, too sunny, too dull, too wet, almost drought..... well, we are all HUMAN! :)

The azaleas up front put up a nice show.




That little rabbit is a fake one, and while I took pictures of the flowers, I realized something was moving among the bushes behind. A closer look revealed a surprise, because what I thought was a baby bird that was learning to fly, turned out to be this guy....




You can hardly see him but it is a rabbit, with its shiny red eye... Easter is round the corner, and I hope people don't let go of bunnies that they decide would be a handful in the house. I am not sure if these things can become pests.

Spring cleaning is almost done. Am I kidding myself? Does cleaning ever get done? I did give away lots of clothes that had gone small and some other stuff. However, I guess about three fourths of it is done and some areas need re-visiting.
How does one accumulate so much stuff? I consider myself to not be a pack rat and I do throw away things every now and then, even then, things just keep accumulating. The weird part is that even after being very organized, when you need something, there is that fifty percent chance you are not going to locate it almost immediately. That feeling when something is not found is the worst feeling there is. You know you just saw it there a few days ago, you could swear it was right there and it eludes you.

Oh for spring cleaning! I need to get back to it.

Another New Year!

Well, it's that time of the year again. The first week of January, when you feel like you can actually get things done as you fill out your new calender and planner. As you write (type) your list of things to-do in the blank space, you tend to think, YES, this time around, this IS going to get done. It may be just me, but I like that feeling. 'Resolutions'- as a word, has lost its charm. Yet hopefuls like me love to think that these goals can and will eventually be met. Never mind that in a few days, as one sinks deeper into the year, the whole optimistic feeling gets nudged aside by excuses, about how you meant to, but could not get to!

Why is it that you are always looking for time when it comes to doing chores and never seem to find it, yet there are periods of time when you are bored and cannot think of what to do? Why is that the time when you can return calls is always full of other stuff to do, and when you do find time, it is an awkward time to return that call? I admit that these are the calls that you simply must make, and cannot avoid. The others where you want to call a dear friend always get ahead on the priority list.

I am not even going to get started on the losing weight goal. I know everyone is fed up of reading about those. That is not even a goal anymore, it is just a fleeting dream, of me in some wonderfully fitting shirt with abs as flat as .......ermmmmmm.... never mind!

I want to read more books this year, I want to be able to get back in the form I was in 4 years ago, cooking for ten families at one go. I just don't seem to have the confidence of doing that anymore (the thing is they should want to eat what I cook, so that's my goal). 

I want to be able to make some really wonderful jewelery, the kind that you don't feel like selling ever, though I admit I had a couple of pieces like that last year! I want to be able to predict how a particular stone will behave when strung with a particular bead.
I want to be able to get my kiddo to be more independent, will my patience help him in getting to that goal?I know, I know, I don't want to sound like a person with tons of things to do, that never get done. I am pretty much up to date with most of the mundane stuff, except for a lone overdue library book, and maybe some ironing. However, when it comes to some ideas that have been hovering in my head for the longest time, I am really bad. I have this wonderful picture in my head that needs to transfer itself on wood with Plaster of Paris! Will people in 2009 finally see it the way I see it in my head? I have some really great ideas for drawing and painting that I could transfer on paper, will I sit down and let my creative side take over for a bit? Only Time will tell! :)